From my friend Armando.

The 9 things that set me off!!!

1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the
time.... I know where my watch is pal, where the hell
is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask
where the toilet is?

2. People who are willing to get off their ass to
search the entire room for the T.V. remote because
they refuse to walk to the T.V. and change the
channel manually.

3. When people say "Oh you just want to have your
cake and eat it too". Damn right! What good is cake
if you can't eat it?

4. When people say "it's always the last place you
look". Of course it is. Why the hell would you keep
looking after you've found it? Do people do this?
Who and where are they? Gonna Kick their asses!

5. When people say while watching a film "did you see
that?". No Loser, I paid $12 to come to the cinema
and stare at the damn floor.

6. People who ask "Can I ask you a question?"...
Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya
sunshine?

7. When something is 'new and improved!'.
Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been
anything before it. If it's an improvement, then
there must have been something before it, couldn't
be new.

8. When people say "life is short". What the hell??
Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever does!!
What can you do that's longer?

9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks
"Has the bus come yet?". If the bus came would I be
standing here, dumbass?